The Early Crusades of the Jaffa Messiah Chapter II

Small Publishing Presents:

The Early Crusades of the Jaffa Messiah
CHAPTER II: Remembering the Darkest of Days

(In which Frank confronts his past and comes to the realization that his new partner is incredibly irritating)



Frank offered this beast of a man a snack still confused by the fact that it was so clearly a Totoro who had just snatched a shirt and pretended to Guillermo Del Toro. However he was willing to accept the loud man's life choices. After the creature devoured the small snack with ferocity, he spontaneously jumped into the back of the Frank-Mobile landing face first with his teeny Totoro toes sticking up in the air, as a large shock-wave was felt in the vicinity due to the weight of the large bear-like man. For a moment everything floated. Prompting Frank to be reminded of the Stephen King movie 'It' quote from Tim Curry, however he ignored the urge to make a reference due to its irrelevancy to the situation...something your humble narrator needs to take a Que from.....wait! Humble Narrator? I wonder if my Droogs will get tired of this.
"WOOOOPS! JEEZ GET SOME MORE DAMN PILLOWS IN HERE ALREADY! YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME A HEADACHE!" shouted Del T(ot)oro.

There was a brief silence between them and by extension - the whole forest as it was clear a whole other world of rage was happening in an instant through Frank's wide-eyed stare of judgement. Frank knew that Del T(ot)oro was not going to be a pleasant companion on his next adventure. Few people were able to give Frank a flashback to a moment from his childhood that scarred him for life. It was a dark day for him, the day when an army of uninvited people stormed his house and put him through the worst torture it was possibly to give our adorable hero.

...The bastards deliberately ruined the order and placement of his prized DVD collection...and made him watch in agony!

The brutality and viciousness of the event was something Frank had since all but forgotten about by repressing such a tragic point in his life, but here it was plain as day, a man whose mere clumsiness brought Frank straight back to that fateful day. Frank knew that this was going to be a challenge he would have to face eventually, he just never expected such discomfort from Totoro of all things. Still, Frank knew the stakes at hand, and begrudgingly hopped in the driver's side of the Frank-Mobile knowing that future of the earth rested in his Kawaii hands.

Frank started up the engine and drove off.
"HEY WATCH IT YOU JERK YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME BARF!!" Del T(ot)oro yelled as the car zoomed down the forest path. However in the shadows of some of the trees passed, in the corner of both Del T(ot)oro's and Frank's peripheral vision he noticed a dark robed hooded figure slowly wandering. At the time however Frank thought nothing of it not realizing who the ominous figure in fact was and not knowing that the man would later come back to haunt him. Upon seeing the glimpse of the dark figure through the feed being filmed Del T(ot)oro's glasses Santa Claws fell back into his chair in shock.
"Him! What is he doing here!? NO! If he's unlocked his full potential, then everything could be ruined!! I have to confirm the identity of that man immediately! my whole plan is in jeopardy! AND NOT THE GAME SHOW KIND!" Santa Claws panicked. For the first time, he found himself afraid that someone may be skilled enough to throw his self proclaimed award winning grand comeback plan after his defeat last Christmas.

To Be Continued....In CHAPTER III