The Early Crusades of the Jaffa Messiah Chapter III

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The Early Crusades of the Jaffa Messiah
CHAPTER III: The Last Son of J-J-Jaffa Cake-Krypton

(In which our hero's past is explored and we learn that just about everything in the Jaffa Kingdom is titled after the eponymous cake.)



Now that Frank had that painful memory fresh in his mind, he realized what a bizarre coincidence it was when Del T(ot)oro asked him about who he was and where he had come from.
"SO, I LIKE, GOT THAT LETTER FROM A FRIEND OF A FRIEND BUT WE STILL GOT A WHILE TO GO BEFORE WE GET TO MY HOMELAND, WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME A LITTLE ABOUT YOURSELF? SOUNDS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN DOING THIS KIND OF THING FOR AGES." Del T(ot)oro commented.
"Uuh, Yeah, Okay, sure." Frank replied.

Now I, the Narrator will be telling this story as I wish to fill you in on some events Frank was not around for. It all began in the specific year of 200X, In the far-off peaceful Kingdom of Jaffa located in a secret location in the mountains, a lad was born into the royal monarchy by the name of Frank Enstein Norman. Legend has it that princes born under the 'Slighty to the left of, but still very North....West Star' were destined for greatness and after 50 years since the last one, the prophecy came true and the kingdom was sure a new age of prosperity was on the horizon.

However, that all changed when Jaffa the Hutt attacked. Real name: Bartholomew Christopher Jaffa Gerard Zimbabwee Rimsy Louie Jones. (and called Jaffa the Slut..by a few ex-boyfriends) Jaffa the Hutt was a politician and King Jaffa's cousin's brother's nephew's doctor's former roomate....hence he had a large amount of influence in the direction of the kingdom's future. Jaffa the Hutt returned from his travels in outer space allegedly having eaten a whole planet's Jaffa Cake supply. The one oath an official in the Jaffa Kingdom must never break. This caused him to become greedy as he swore to eat every Jaffa Cake in the universe from that day forward starting by taking control of his homeland.

With his home kingdom now in crisis, the young Frank vowed to defeat Jaffa the Hutt's evil intergalactic empire and return to his homeland. So he set off on a lonesome journey drifting through towns and wastelands around the world in an effort to find some clue into how to defeat Jaffa the Hutt and where the cunning mastermind was hiding when not in the kingdom. During his travels through Asia, Frank briefly trained with several monks and developed his own school of Martial Arts - Kawaii-Fu based around using the inner cuteness within one's self and the life energy within all nature and bending them to your will at the same time through your fists. It was afterwards that Frank first met his Senpai...but that's a story for another day...

"WE GOT PLENTY OF TIME THOUGH, ARE YOU SURE YOU OR THE NARRATOR CAN'T TELL ME MORE ABOUT THIS SEN-PIE GUY??" Del T(ot)oro asked.
"No, To be honest, I'd rather speak about him after he notices me someday" Frank explained.
"HUH.....UHHHH OK." Del T(ot)oro accepted.
Several hours passed and the two travellers in their bizarre contraption of a car finally were easing in on a village and as they glanced up they realized it was on fire!!!

To be Continued... in Chapter VI!!