The Early Crusades of the Jaffa Messiah Chapter IV

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The Early Crusades of the Jaffa Messiah
CHAPTER IV: The Room with a View

(In Which our Hero realizes an old foe with some strange quirks, Totoro kills a Midget and the Ogres advance.)



After arriving in Del Totoro's hometown, our Jaffa hero's face turned to one of shock as he looked around and witnessed tons upon tons of small corpses - it was as if the whole cast of Willow had been residing in this village before whoever the attacker was....well uh...attacked! Frank knelled before one of the corpses as a rock moved in his peripheral vision and a bloody severally injured little person came crawling out from behind. This startled Del Totoro who began to squeal like a small child, however Frank covered his mouth and stopped the humongous beast from wailing out. The small person crawled over to Frank.
"Please! you've got to get out of here! He's got some kind of strange charisma, you've got to leave before he finds you!" The midget warned them as he began to cough up blood and he then passed out.
"Del Totoro!" Frank shouted.
"Yeah, Boss?" Del Totoro replied.
"See if you can do anything for this dude, he may be the only one who can tell us of what we're truly up against here."
"Yeh, Okay"
"Wait, if you're a Totoro, why were you living with a bunch of little people?" Frank inquired.
After Del Totoro picked up the unconscious small man he walked off with an emotionless face seemingly trying to ignore that Frank had brought that fact up.
"Uh, Okay" Frank accepted.

Del Totoro takes the little person over to a dark secluded area away in an area of the forest opposite the Frank-Mobile and far away from Frank himself who continues exploring the ruins of the village. Del Totoro checks his surroundings as the tiny new acquaintance begins to wake up. Meanwhile, in the icy fortress Santa Claws is smirking clearly planning something sinister. He presses a few buttons which cause Del Totoro to suddenly strangle the small man as he gasps his final breath.
"Good, Good. Everything is going according to my design, at least as long as that hooded hooligan doesn't show up! Still they just need to meet my warrior and their fight will definitely be enough to make nature weep all throughout this forest!" Santa Claws explained.
Del Totoro wandered back to Frank, now holding the deceased corpse as Frank sat crouching by the ruins of an old building, having cremated some of the bodies.
"What the Junk? Man! just who could've done this!?....I can't be...No." Frank's eyes widened as a startling worrying thought clearly ran through his mind.
"What? What have you discovered?" Del Totoro asked.
"That little dude said some junk about whoever did this having a strange charisma about him. In my travels, I faced someone who had such bizarre abilities as well as this strange accent that you couldn't help but not fall under his spell. I SPENT 3 HOURS PLAYING BALL WITH THIS MUTHA CUZ OF HIS DAMN HYPNOTIC POWERS!" Frank explained.
"So what happened to this guy then?" Del Totoro asked.
"I thought I finished him for good, I thought I locked him away in the one room that he wouldn't be able to escape from with his charm, nor would anybody be able to break him out. But now I'm seeing more evidence which is making me believe this theory all too well" Frank exposited.

Meanwhile on the other side of the forest, a barrage of tree stomping and a variety of burps was heard from far and wide as a battalion of tall strongly built people wearing scraps of army atop their rags of clothing charged through nature's forests. It was evident they were in a very big hurry to get to where ever it was they were heading, light glimmered on their faces whenever they ran past the gaps in the trees as their incredibly unattractive faces became visible in those instances along with their strange trumpet-esque ears and green complexion and at the forefront of the enraged Ogre mob was a woman. Being the only female in this group she stood out and was clearly the leader of the army as she sported several skull trophies on a necklace, a long lock of hair which the other Ogre's could only dream of having and several battle scars. The Ogre army ran all the way to the outside of the village taking care not to make a sound from their on. It was equivalent to seeing the rage of a Klingon turn to that of a silent mouse. These were the Ogres from the Auton-Patrick Clan.

After Frank was told of their new small friend's apparent 'sudden' death. Frank decided to look around and knock on the houses which still looked like their may've still been some life inside. However, Frank's efforts were in vain and he was about to take a break until he heard a scream from one of the buildings he hadn't yet checked. He ran over to the direction the scream came from, with Del Totoro stumbling behind him, as Frank heard the laugh of the perpetrator behind this whole mess.
"That accent....It IS him." Frank whispered somewhat amazed.
"But WHO is it? who do you keep talking about?" Del Totoro inquired.
"Shush. Quiet. Here he comes, I need to surprise him, if I'm gonna have any chance at beating this loser." Frank snapped at Del Totoro.
The doors of the wrecked house flew off and a hooded figure with in a cream coloured robe with long somewhat greasy black hair walked out. He was grinning and chuckling to himself as he felt a sense of delight at the familiarity when he saw Frank causing him to remove his hood.
"Hahahaha....Oh Hai Mark."
Tommy Wiseau smirked.

To Be Continued Next Time in Chapter V!!!!!